Desmond Kwek Pokemon battle

Prime Minister Lee Hsien Loong recently stated that his decision to send troops to Iraq is finalised. Although Singapore would just be sending a medical team with bodyguards, the fact remains that Singapore is now officially an abettor in the illegal US-led war on Iraq.

Singapore has been largely a peaceful and rich country, and there are a number of “homegrown military talents” the ruling party government felt would have gone to waste if they were to retire.

Not anymore. These “military talents” can now be put to good use, and here is the list:

1. Lieutenant-General Ng Yat Chung
Losing the country’s national shipping line, Neptune Orient Line (NOL), and making it lose billions is no mean feat. Lt. General Ng Yat Chung’s contribution to the Iraq war would be strategically vital, especially for his role in espionage. With his hairstyle, he can easily pass off as a North Korean general and offer advice to ISIS in their war against US. With him advising the enemy, ISIS would lose billions of fundings in less than 3 years and eventually be sold off to foreign lesser extremist groups. Bankrupting ISIS is as easy as bankrupting NOL. Ng Yat Chung will not only bring down a ship, he will bring down the entire shipping business!

Kim Jong Il and Ng Yat Chung
Kim Jong Il and Ng Yat Chung

2. Lieutenant-General Desmond Kwek
This man is born to beat the ISIS. With his experience in SMRT, ISIS would literally be stopped in their track. Lt. General Desmond Kwek’s transport expertise can ensure ISIS transport vehicles break down at least 3 times a day. Who else can bring Singapore’s train system down as frequent as twice a week consistently since the day he became SMRT CEO? Although Desmond Kwek’s salary is most expensive, he is super effective dealing with transport – better than Pikachu against Gyarados.

Desmond Kwek Pokemon battle
Desmond Kwek Pokemon battle

3. Rear-Admiral Lui Tuck Yew
RA Lui Tuck Yew is ISIS’s nightmare. Although he is generally as useful as a Magikarp (he looks like one as well), his heart is in the right place. Right after announcing his resignation, Lui Tuck Yew became a cheerleader and even helped put up posters of Lee Hsien Loong – like PAP Ministers, this man may be useless, but he has the heart to serve.

Magikarp and Lui Tuck Yew
Magikarp and Lui Tuck Yew

4. PAP Calvin Cheng
Children of ISIS beware, Calvin Cheng is coming after you. This man may likes to talk garbage on Facebook, but he is the number one terrorist children killer. “It’s as simple as that. Please don’t complicate matters.”

PAP Calvin Cheng
PAP Calvin Cheng

5. Brigadier General Lee Hsien Loong
The greatest weapon against ISIS is none other than Bdg-General Lee Hsien Loong himself. Since he is adamant on fighting in Iraq, shouldn’t the Prime Minister himself lead the way in the frontline? Some of Lee Hsien Loong’s best skills in the front line includes, CPF, ERP, defamation lawsuits and “my father is Lee Kuan Yew”. Just look at the victims of his prowess, enough said.

p.s. His level 6 ulti is called Ho Ching.

Lee Hsien Loong
Lee Hsien Loong