Photo from asingaporeanson
Facing balderdash from nitwits was what had to face in the SAF on everyday basis. That was the first time I came across piffle statements such as “NEVER assume! Assuming makes the ass out of you and me,” commonly used by commanders as a retort to underlings who either attempt or contemplate the criminal act of assumption, whether or not a mistake is made by a sole factor.
Among soldiers, some of the oafs swallowed thick words and even made such slogans their way of life after their national service end, plaguing the
Among soldiers, some of the oafs swallowed thick words and even made such slogans their way of life after their national service end, plaguing the working society with their twisted, brainwashed souls. To make it worse, the PAP government decided that it is a good idea to pepper retired military men in every crevice of the working society, holding key appointments in establishments regarded as bloodline of the economy. “You cannot teach an old dog new tricks,” has to be an outdated concept in Singapore, since they can teach military men to fix up MRT trains, run (down) shipping companies and hold babies or smile at cameras as political administrators, etc.
As for my dear army commanders back in my NSF days, I did not tell them I was assuming them as idiots all the time. Not because I didn’t have the balls to say it but the fact that I felt it wasn’t a fair deal to get a punishment by telling the truth and doing them a favour. Thus whenever they barked their hippy “Assume” slogan, I stopped assuming and confirmed they were in fact, idiots, carrying out orders like an obedient soldier, doing my part for the nation.
Well, if anyone stopped to think for a moment, we will realise that assumption brings forth great things. Do you stay at home all the time because you can only assume you will not hit by a car on the way to work and there is no way to confirm if such an event would not take place? Do you send flowers anyway, to the girl that you fancy with the assumption she will appreciate it and agree to fuck you one day, or do you ask for confirmation first? Do you not take up a housing loan because there is no way you can guarantee yourself constant income for the entire loan term? Do you abort your fetus because not even advance medical technology can completely eliminate the need to assume that the baby will born healthy and normal?
Yes, we fucked up often due to bad assumptions. What is the magnitude of these in terms of the wonderful things you have achieved and build up in your life? Sure, if you feel your life isn’t up to scratch, it is time to review your assumption that a lottery win is the only solution to change it. If not, it is safe to assume your jobs, relationships, assets and children that you are happy with, are acquired by making a great deal of assumptions.
If Singaporeans dare to make the assumption that giving the PAP more than a 2/3 majority in Parliament, granting them the liberty to make an enforceable policy that every Singaporean is to consume their own shit tomorrow if they wanted to, is safe, does that make an ass out of you and me?
The art of assumption making is the same as decision making. Do we stop making decisions because we are afraid of making bad ones? The key is to making good assumptions, therefore, is never stop making assumptions in hope that one day, we will make less stupid assumptions and learn how to make solid ones that can hold their weight.
Nix Elle
Reproduced with permission from Nix Elle.
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